Coming Out of the Consulting Closet
After two decades as a professional trainer, all I want to talk about is love
For as long as I’ve been a consultant in the run retail industry, I’ve had a certain reputation. One which, I believe, has helped me carve out a niche without stepping on the toes of the other folks doing what I do: There’s the go-to person for sales tactics. Another for numbers analysis. And someone you’d hit up for store layout and merchandising genius. Of course we all can speak to anything regarding a retail operation, but expertise in a specific industry alcove is what ensures our desirability and demand.
For years I’ve been reluctant to fully expose my particular nook in this tightly knit world. Why? Because what I am best at doesn’t have the same measurable hooks as do the sweet spots of my colleagues. My particular know-how does not exist as a budget's line item or P&L metric. I’m good at soft skills. The floofy stuff that’s taken for granted. The nitty gritty that’s so often overlooked because it can’t be measured. What I am good at is people. And people, as far as I’m concerned, transcend every topic I’ll ever be hired to train.
To earn business, I strategically market my offerings with attention grabbing keywords—customer service mostly, but also leadership, sales, basic anatomy, biomechanics, sports nutrition, and marketing, to name a few. In every case I’ve been fully committed to meet and exceed each client’s professional needs. But also in every case I’ve done something unexpected. I’ve challenged attendees to look inward with questions like, Why do you do what they do? Why do you even care? Why does it matter? I encourage them to keep their findings front and center as they absorb the educational content I’m getting paid to deliver.
I also generally ask attendees to consider the impact of having more loving relationships with the people around them. Many folks are willing to go there, but some are not. What the heck? they say. I thought this was customer service training! I didn’t come to work today to talk about love! This isn’t therapy! And they are right, they didn’t come to work to talk about love. And it surely is not therapy. But love is definitely an apropos topic. Allow me to echo bell hooks’ (paraphrased) definition of love, “… to actively extend yourself for the purpose of nourishing your own or another’s growth.” How much more relevant can this be! So yeah—I’ve always included love in my content, but in most cases I snuck it in.
As for those naysayers—well, the rule of thirds rules. One third immediately buy in, another third eventually get on board, and the final third will never be down. From my experience in elementary P.E. classes, middle school classrooms, high school lectures, my own store staff, corporate training halls, friends, family, and basically any human interaction, the rule of thirds always applies. Shoot, I’ve been in that final third in many instances, and frankly I needed the experience of pushing back in order to someday be open. I actually like it when there’s push back. Because people who push back against love probably need it the most.
I share all of this to say I am tired of keeping love in the shadows. I am sick of using codewords in an effort to win contracts and protect myself from, well, myself, I guess. I’ve actively kept love in the background, afraid to activate my branding with what I believe in most strongly.
The outcome has been ironic. Regardless of my menu of offerings, folks know me as the guy who’s going to broach the unexpected. I’m not tearing up this time, a recent client assured me. While another hired me because his team needed, that uplifting energy that reignites us all. So maybe coming out of the consulting closet is more of a surprise to me than to anyone else. I’m cool with that. What matters to me is that I’m finally naming my truth and building my future business and life around it.
Why Does Any of This Matter?
I believe that when we come together, my role is to help folks feel loved on, cared for, and seen. People might become better at their jobs as a result, and that’s great. But what revs me up is the prospect of them being a little more adept at this shared adventure of life, or a smidge more capable of looking inward and making conscious decisions about their own development. Playing an active role in this is the hottest fire in my belly.
It’s important, if not imperative, to make it clear that I, too, am a student of my content. I will always be a student to things I ask folks to ponder and will never claim to know the right answers. We are strongest when we combine our energies, strengths, and brainpower. We are better together.
Any space designed to help people grow as people is highly regarded. This sort of landscape, however, is commonly neglected. Even rarer is stumbling upon it in the wild. I help facilitate the sort of stumble that brings people back to their center. The sort that realigns people with themselves, and then with each other.
It used to surprise me when people cried at my workshops. I mean, it’s a work meeting, after all. But I was carving out space for people to tell and feel something about their stories. As a lapsed archaeologist I assure you that discovery, even a small ones, often lead to big emotions for everyone involved.
Robin Wall Kimmerer, author of Braiding Sweetgrass, says it perfectly. “…from the earth or from each other [we] establish a particular relationship, an obligation of sorts to give, to receive, and to reciprocate.” I feel this, big time.
Digging together to find curious things is all I truly care to do. I want us to share a moment of wild illumination resulting from our togetherness. What is this? I may ask you. Gosh, I don’t know—but what is THIS? you may ask in return. And all that follows is radiant.
I believe self inquiry is what seeds personal growth. Apply it to anything—a job or relationship or family connection or whatever. An exploration in one area benefits all areas. Which is exactly why we’ll talk about love when there are inventory issues. Or retention problems. Or sales slumps. Because it’s all connected. And helping people make these connections, then do something about it, is, above all else, my superpower.
